It is a neurological condition. It makes up the core of me. It affects how I see, hear, and experience the world I live in. It sometimes even enters my dreams. Autism (Asperger's) never sleeps. I wouldn't get far from running from it since I would be running from myself. It leaves me with a lot of reasons for what I do or not experience.

It is a daily task to make my constant companion as invisible as possible. For example, I don't purposely stim in public. If I rock too much in a chair that isn't a rocker, if I pace in circles, or carrying on a conversation with myself, I would receive unwanted attention. Since I'd rather not be the headline story amidst my social circles, I follow the social do's and don't's. I "pass".

There are positives to it. My passion is writing and I don't believe I would have that if I were NT. My obsession with exercise, for instance, isn't a bad thing since there is ample evidence that exercise is much better for one than being in idle mode. The downside is the exhaustion of wearing a smile when a volcano is erupting inside.