am very sad... and sick which is making the sadness worse... my father.. his rape...

but mostly am sad that my mom.. would try to fix my body.. by soaking me in a hot tub.. so that no one would find out about what my father did to me...the ripping.. the seering... pain....owie..owie.. owie...

I feel sorry for my Mom... so very unable to cope.. with the consequences of anything....

i think.. that there are just some things.. maybe.. we should know.... especially about our moms..