No need to be sorry on your end!

They actually haven't told me anything about my diagnosis since 2011 when the first pdoc diagnosed me with Bipolar I...
I researched all of my symptoms and then researched bipolar and refuted that diagnosis because it just didnt add up to me and I had/have a strong gut feeling/knowing that it isn't bipolar..

I tried to make it fit in with the bipolar diagnosis, but it just doesnt fit for me... in my mind, I cant make it make sense to be bipolar..

I've talked with my therapist(s) about it and they agreed with me that they don't think I have bipolar..

But none of them have told me what they think my diagnosis is or what they have diagnosed me with...

So I've been trying to make do with the limited information that they have given me all these years, which I don't understand as one would think they would want to educate me as much as possible on my diagnosis... especially when a patient is interested in learning as much as possible about it to further progression with treatment...

I had a psychological assessment due to my dissagreement with them on the Bipolar dx in which the psychologist also agreed that I dont have Bipolar, but that its Major Depressive disorder, ADHD, Somatization disorder, PTSD, and Generalized anxiety disorder...

He also mentioned that I have a Avoidant personality traits, but didn't mention anything about borderline...
After talking to my therapist a little bit and she learning about my self harm, she said that I have borderline traits.. in which i told her my confusion as to the psychologist saying i had Avoidant, then she saying borderline, inwhich she said something like Personality disorders tend to overlap

so... this is where I am at on my understanding, its a limited understanding as the "professionals" haven't tried to educate me so much at all, and that I have done my own research in trying to understand my experience...

I've came to the conclusion that they don't want to talk to me about the diagnosis' because they themselves have not come to a decision or understanding of the large amount of symptoms I have...

but one would think after 7 years of treatment, they should know something...

Sigh, I'm tired and just want some answers