thank you for the support. My animals give me a lot but they are not motivators. Yes, they have kept me alive on several occasions but I don't they are a replacement for human contact. Today I am feeling like a looser. I have not worked in 11 days. Each day I have a great excuse why not to go which is so much better than the reason to go. I started a gratitude list last night. I know those are good. I agree with what you said, if I don't care then usually no one cares. How do I start caring about myself???