I'm tired.

My depression has ruined all of my friendships and my relationship (I dunno if it's even a relationship any more, honestly). No matter what I do, I can't stop it from rearing its head and messing everything up for me. I can't enjoy anything, I can't think about anything other than dying, my dreams have been distorted into vivid, semi-conscious nightmares.

I'm currently on a waitlist to see a psychiatrist and I have a therapist, but my therapist is little more than a sounding board that simply agrees with me on everything. My meds don't work whatsoever and I'm tired of pushing people away when I try to turn to them for some comfort.

I just... Really want to be dead. There's no other way out, at this point. I've been trying to fight this monster off since I was 11, I'm now 28. So... Yeah, like 2/3s of my short life have been taken by this beast.