Oy - I second that one. Every week my t tells me I don't look like there's anything wrong with me; I look nice, wear business clothes, make up, hair combed.... I don't mirror what I tell her is happening on the inside. I'm calm, i laugh about the things I tell her.

I have been close to calling a suicide hotline, but was afraid some authorities might come to my house and cause me more problems. But then again, I've never had an attempted suidice, either. If you really are thinking about ending it, please do call. It could make all the difference. I'm just simply too weak - and i know that about myself and that is fine. I've never called the crisis line either - though I was thinking about it tonight.
*fearful*