About a year and a half after I first started meds I was so "stable" ("stable," over-medicated, whatever) that I didn't know who I was anymore. Basically I had an identity crisis. To go from 15 years without treatment to "suddenly" being stable threw me waaay off. I was so used to the instability of it all, I found I really didn't like stability that much because it almost didn't feel real. Fact is, I need the occasional episode just to feel like a real, live person... or, at least to feel like myself.