Define normal, lol.
Retreateing to a safe place is a natural thing to do, when you feel overwhelmed. You see it with different eyes now, and don't find it as you remembered. You had a child's abilty to go to your other world and find everything as you wanted it. It feels different now because you are not the child hiding anymore, you are the adult seeking comfort, and not finding another way. It's ok to revert sometimes. When I'm stressed, I put on my pyjamas, curl up with a blanket and watch movies from my childhood, trying to escape into them. I'll sit close to the tv and giggle with a bowl of cereal. The child inside still needs that.
Replaying childhood traumas comes up often in a state of depression. Everything is amplified, intensified, it is misery. We wonder why it's happening, have we not grown out of this by now? There is no need to feel ashamed. I don't think we ever grow out of that pain, the feeling that we were cheated, that we can never get some things back. The pain is yours, and requires attention.
I'm glad you came here and stayed away from hurting your self. The child inside doesn't need more pain, it needs love.
Sometimes I visualize going back as I am now, walking into my parent's house in 1986, picking my six year old self up and holding her. I tell little me that she is loved, that some day things will be better, and she will be strong. I let her cry. Then I walk out and return here, and let her grow up knowing those things. It all comes back into me, leaves me feeling validated. It might help you to take your strength, go back and give it to little Justy.
The adult Justy needs that too. I offer you comfort from here. I send you hugs and warm thoughts. I hope you have someone there to talk to one on one about these things too, I don't know if you've got counselor or anything at this point.
I hope you are feeling better soon.