So glad your kids know you love them and so glad for you, too. So sad that your mother is walled off in concrete. I used to feel like that was me, existing underground in a concrete bunker, but after much therapy I'm out in the real world most of the time and part of that is accepting reality. Sometimes reality is very harsh and sad, but fantasy and pretense don't really work very well, either, as I know from personal experience.

I hope you find some peace. (Me, too.)