Thank you for your reply. I understand what you are saying as he is exactly that. I sometimes think he is 'putting it on' and the whole narcassist thing is an excuse to get their own way and be so rude its inhumane. I feel that I need to do something back to show how it hurts and you are right in saying that they wouldn't care. What gives anyone the right to treat people so cruely and then act like nothing has happened.

I'm in the process of leaving him and I think he thinks I won't go but I am. I admit I have retaliated in the past and now I realize that this is what he thrives on.

I'll try what you suggested hopefully I can get out sooner than later.

Thanks again