So what do I do? I find it hard to accept that this is what my life is going to be - constantly working on not burning out at a job I hate. What I've been trying for a little while is developing a videogame, but the more I learn about it the more overwhelming it becomes - the success stories of a single developer working for 10 years without breaks are my nightmare fuel - especially having to keep this job to support myself. And I guess I'm an innately single developer, so it's not just about time, but also being skilled in so many fields - coding, art, sound, eventually PR (yeah, right). But what else do I have? I've got no idea. I'm into foreign languages, but that's basically useless (beyond English) with social anxiety.
Again, I don't expect anyone to help, but I have to continue this.