Lady, I know what that hope is. And I know it's hard to let go of, especially if you've come to care for someone. He may even have a few endearing qualities that make you say, "Well, he can be a good guy at times." (Almost nobody is 100% bad.) So your heart softens, and - basically - you end up genuinely confused. Then you try to logic your way out of the confusion. I think the problem is failure to grasp that his way of thinking is radically different from yours.

I went through this with my screwed-up brother, who also has issues with the law and creditors hunting him down with allegations of fraud. I love my brother and woukd do just about anything for him. But his opinion of me rests squarely on whether or not I granted his last request. He didn't cheat me out of money (though he cheated every credit card company he borrowed from,) but he would want other favors and he woukd want me always to agree with him on anything he said. I learned to just "yes" him to death and not waste my breath debating with him, but I couldn't do every favor he wanted. And, believe me, I did plenty. If I said "no" to him on anything, he would go off mad and not talk to me for weeks or years at a time. And, while his nose was out of joint, I could be desperately in need of some help on something, and he would tell me to screw off. I could be in a hospital very ill, and he would not care if I died. This is what I mean by saying these kind of people think altogether differently than you and I do . . . and we will never understand how minds can work that way. You can't figure them out using logic because they are fundamentally irrational in certain respects. That's why trying to talk a thing out gets you nothing, but frustrated. Their minds don't obey the same principles of reason and logic that we try to pay some attention to. So you will absolutely never convince them that they are mistaken about anything. They can be intelligent and able to figure out lots of things, but, when it comes to taking responsibility, they have a mental block that there is no getting past. I will always be in the wrong, in my brother's mind, whenever we are at odds, or I don't agree with his perspective. It took me years to grasp this.

That's why these guys can do criminal things with a clear conscience. They have it all figured out that what they did wasn't really wrong in their particular situation. All humans rationalize to some extent. We all make excuses for ourselves. But these guys take it to a whole higher level than you or I could ever imagine getting away with. From their perspective, they are the ones who are being wronged.

Another thing I recognize as familiar is your friend wanting to "help" you. My brother had ideas (schemes) of ways my life would be better, if only I would do exactly what he told me to do. And he'ld be so incensed that I wouldn't fall right in line with his plan for how my life could be better. The fact that he goes in and out of jail regularly, while I've never been in any kind of legal trouble, doesn't make him think that maybe he's not the best person to give out advice.

I haven't heard from my brother in years. I'm kind of sad about that. But I have less craziness in my life. If he reconnected with me, I now realize that it would only lead to problems for me. I say a prayer for him every day, but I would never again try jumping through the hoops he would want me to, ever again. Lady, I think you need to come to a similar conclusion. This guy's idea for the both of you making money is a bad idea, and probably not even completely legal. Never mix your money with his or with him and you will avoid serious trouble for yourself. But that will break his little heart, and you will be the bad guy, and you will need to accept, "Okay. I'm the bad guy. However, my decision is to say no, and I won't keep letting you talk to me about this. If that means you're mad, then go be mad. Sorry you feel that way, but that's how it's going to be."

If you're not used to dealing with people this firmly, then this is an excellent opportunity to develop that skill. Look at it that way. It's okay - and even necessary - to disappoint others now and then. You will become more comfortable with doing that as you practice standing your ground.