Like Patagonia said, the outlet will only jolt you a little. I've done it before (non intentionally) and all I felt was a jolt strong enough to make my fingers go numb for a few seconds.

Trust me, I do understand. I was there a few years ago. I did the smart thing and called a hotline, and they in turn did the smart thing and asked if I wanted mobile counseling. I said yes, that I was a danger to myself and they rushed a police officer right over while the mobile counselor was in transit. The mobile counselor did the smart thing and said I needed to go to the local Psych hospital for an evaluation, and then I was driven there by my mom.

It was a bit scary, sitting there and looking at the different patients and their varying levels of mentality, but it was what was needed. Thankfully, the evaluation went smoothly and the on site doctor prescribed me a new med, I was given a list of things I needed to do in order not to go in patient any time soon, and I followed through.

I know you're hurting but the Psych ward can deal with suicidal folks. It's what they specialize in. It's the smart thing to do.