I love this, I can definitely relate to much of it. It's like you know what to do to feel better and make things right, but you just can't get yourself to do it. Having outside encouragement from someone who understands can make the difference, but then where does that even exist in my small circle of my non existent social life?

The depression swept in last November. I'm exhausted, still not dressing or bathing consistently, can't make decisions with any regularity, forget how to get back to my house on the way home from the grocery store. I don't want to eat--then eat like a horse, need to get out of the house--and am terrified to leave!

I'm right there with ya girl! I was like feeling like this yesterday. I swore I didn't need to eat. I've lost weight and to keep doing so, just don't eat. Well that didn't last long because then I ordered a pizza and desert, and well now I'm just like f it, who cares. So now I want all the junk food I can get, but I don't want to shower and get dressed to go get it. I'm always contemplating asking my mom to do so on her way home, but I shouldn't have to inconvenience her by going out of her way to stop by my house and shop for me.
We don't have the same story, but share the same feelings on different levels. Unfortunately I wish I had great advice, but I hold on to the hope that some day I'll feel better. I just live life one day at a time. Don't look to the future and don't look back.
btw Happy Birthday!!