My way was realizing if I made my life a train wreck because of what was done to me , that was my abusive past , why am I going to carry them forward to further make me miserable , these people would be happy that they still controlled you .so my epiphany was these people are all dead and gone they can't hurt me anymore ,no matter what they did or didn't do, I was done with them and there crimes against me , it was time for me to take control of my life and live it for myself , let ghosts be ghosts and not be haunted.