Today I turned 65. A couple months ago I asked my daughter to give me a big party because 65 is a big deal. But I m more or less in isolation mode right now so I told her a month ago no party. I don't look back on or evaluate my past or how my life has gone n what I wished I could have done or couldn't have done. I can't change the past. I did the best I could in the times that I had including the hospitalizations. I m finally fairly stable now but I don't know how long it will last. Whatever.