I wouldn't put so much energy into putting yourself down.

Academia may not be your forte but how are you at practical things? I could never be much of a do-it-yourselfer. My issue has been poor memory work. I remember nothing I have learned much further beyond taking the test for it. I can problem solve but I can't figure out how to operate a phone or tablet without a great deal of help. I need to read directions very slowly and multiple times. Unless the work is menial and repetitive, I can find it difficult to deal with.

My suggestion is to figure out what you are interested in. I'm pretty sure that may be an area you show some improvement in.