I feel like I relate to this (and many of your other posts), despite not fully understanding. Not any fault of yours, I am just finding it hard to concentrate and understand stuff I read lately.
I do know that being alone is no fun though. Here if you want to talk
(((((subtle lights))))))
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Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go.
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left.
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Failure. Failure - Breaking Benjamin
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