Dealing with past events and feelings is always tiring, and saddening in most cases. However, just like you said it before, sometimes you need to cut off the chain. Every tear and every scar are another word in your story, and it's true you cannot erase any of them, but you can still create something beautiful out of it.
It may seem no one actually knows how much effort you put on appearing normal or stable, but the truth is there are people who notice and people who care. Tears and scars can recognize each others in another person, and they acknowledge all the work and time the other person puts on being there.
There are other people who know what you're going through, that recognize that lonely feeling. And we know how much you have worked and cared, because we've done and do so ourselves.
Other people care, and will help you survive. All of us here are the proof.
You are not alone in this battle.