I meant when people don't want to accept me if my curreny mood is sad. Pretending like I didn't say what I've said (when trying to share about my issues), joking about my issues, they see I am suffering but all they want is to keep the conversation on a light level (while I would need to talk about my issues), they are trying to "cheer me up" instead of listening and being there. They get angry or dissappointed with me (and I am afraid they will reject me) if I don't change my mood. Some very close people in my life do everything to distract me, like changing the subject. I know I would cause them huge pain (and to myself to see them like that) if I shared my issues with them so I learned to pretend or at least not go into depths. They have the obsessive need to see me happy, their happiness depends on mine (this is one person in my life)
This is all hard to explain.