You're taking the right path by confronting it and not avoiding it. The question is, "How?". You're acknowledging and already sown the seeds of overcoming this hurdle. If I can show you how, I really want to show it to you.

This was how I felt when it was back to rebuilding everything from scratch.

I expected myself to fall back and cry, curl up in bed, and sometimes really in a bad state of despair. Sure, those happened multiple times, but however, it was a bullet I had to bite in order to reinforce my beliefs that temporary relapse will come and go.

Last Thursday, I went clubbing with my colleagues. They were focusing on putting up an impression of a tough drinker. I had a few shots and let myself dance to the music in order to offer myself that freedom to express. Everyone thought I was drunk and began laughing at my jokes, but in fact, I was still thinking clearly. It pondered to me, I can add value to people's life by making them laugh or connecting to their frequency instead of constructing a good image of myself all the time. I don't have to always feel the need to be accepted, I can be the sun and offer people warmth.

Meanwhile I crashed today, was an agonising afternoon to endure this abrupt crash. At least I can thank myself I saw it coming and already planned to sleep earlier tonight.