Quote:
Originally Posted by subtle lights
I meant when people don't want to accept me if my curreny mood is sad. Pretending like I didn't say what I've said (when trying to share about my issues), joking about my issues, they see I am suffering but all they want is to keep the conversation on a light level (while I would need to talk about my issues), they are trying to "cheer me up" instead of listening and being there. They get angry or dissappointed with me (and I am afraid they will reject me) if I don't change my mood. Some very close people in my life do everything to distract me, like changing the subject. I know I would cause them huge pain (and to myself to see them like that) if I shared my issues with them so I learned to pretend or at least not go into depths. They have the obsessive need to see me happy, their happiness depends on mine (this is one person in my life)
This is all hard to explain.
|
I had that problem for a very long time...along with many others surrounding the theme of "people just won't listen to me". I finally wound up inpatient in the community psych hospital - and at least they listened. After that, I was taught coping techniques and relaxation techniques...so even when I noticed the therapists began to quit listening, I could generally appease myself (at least for awhile) until I could find a new therapist. Sometimes I lost hope in the whole system though and went too long without therapy and wound up inpatient again. I learned how to "talk" to my doctors and counselors. Not just so I could get things off my chest, but so I could get the things I knew I needed them to do for my healing. I was tired of waiting - so I started pushing them to speed up "the game" (as I started seeing it) and slowing it down as needed. I started doing research on my own - about the therapies used for my differing problems, and started applying them to myself as much as I could (since I didn't see them having any success) and just listened for them to give me the next clue to an exercise, method, or technique I could try. Basically - I no longer worry about others listening, or trying to help me - I have come to the realization I am the only one who can and will do that - so I do.