Quote:
Originally Posted by anais_anais
Really tell him how you feel. What he said isn't something you can just smooth over and move past. Just reading it made me want to throw up.
I wouldn't no-show. I would march in there and let him have it, don't hold back. I did something similar over a thing my usually wonderful T said, where it was just off, didn't come out right, and it put me out of my mind. Well I went in and actually screamed and told him off like I've never done to anyone before, because there was nothing to lose. And we did make ammends over the next few weeks. His apology was deep and profound and he revisited the concepts and notions he held that led to him making that sloppy statement.
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Thanks so much for your reply. I am scared if I go back I will scream at him - and then I won't be able to live with myself, because I'll feel like I'm the one in the wrong. It makes me feel sick too. He's never said anything remotely like that before.
When I called him up on it, his explanation made it even worse - he said he had been trying to get me to have more of a sense of agency.
Now all I can think is that he's a man - he will never know what it's like to be physically weaker than someone in a sexual situation. How could he said it? I already blame myself for what happened. I don't know how I can trust him now?