My whole life I've been playing roles others wanted me to be. I've been shoving my emotions down. No one knows who I really am (not even me..). In these last two yesrs I wanted to do everything alone. I researched, I practiced yoga, meditation, different kinds of psychological tools. Alone. Everything alone. Even when I was with people I was alone. I could never connect to people and feel that I am myself.
But now I've had enough, I don't want to do everything alone anymore. Being "true to myself" but only when I'm by myself. Because I couldn't with others.
I really really need to express myself. The pain, the darkness. If it's not possible to be understood and heard then I don't want to continue. If I just have to get over the pain and become the old me, that's not an option.
(Sorry, I'm down now but it will pass....)