So one point of the porn argument is that men or women are using porn which creates a lack of intimacy & a separation in the relationship.

IMHO what creates more of a separation in a relationship is basically a screen!
A tv, tablet, iPad, kindle etc etc.
we as a society are now glued to a screen in front of our faces. Whether it's at home in private, or in line in a store. Everyone is whipping out their screens to connect.
Really take a look around & see how many people are looking at a screen....just bec they can.

Technology is the new porn.