I'm having this same struggle myself.

My mother has even said that we should be like Asian culture and the children must take in and support the parents. She wants that cultural automatic respect where parents can be abusive and children must obey and put them on a pedestal forever.

I've been doing some research on Asian culture, though. And found that the children give the parents money but the parents give the money back to them when them die. So it's all just a game so the parents can brag to their friends how much their children love and respect them.

I don't know the answer to your dilemma.