I think if the relationship was good up until this point, use that relationship and your anger towards him and his comment to let all of that anger out. Let him feel the force of your "no, what you said was unacceptable" and "no means no" for what was done to you. Sure some of it will be a redirection of the anger from the person that assaulted you - what's the worse that will happen in terms of the relationship you have with your T?

It is just a suggestion and I can't say it is one I would do, it sounds good to me on paper (in theory).

The closest type of experience I have of t saying something poorly or maybe wrong all together; was when I kept calling myself stupid for not recognizing my gender and sexuality in my youth. She said, "what if you were stupid?" I guess she stressed about how I took it all weekend. She told me she was trying to encourage curiosity with the statement. At the time, it brought out my anger. I probably looked at her like I could have sliced her down with my eyes. I spent the weekend thinking about "what if I was stupid... what if I wasn't stupid" so in a way, it worked.

And regarding my gender and sexuality, yes there were big neon signs in Jr High that I just missed and no one, absolutely no one in my life directly acknowledged.