I see no obligation to wait for him to have his financial shyt together and go as a blended family.

As you so nicely pointed out, you guys are not an official family. Yet.

If his boys feel put out because they don't get a cruise, well then they need to take that up with their parents...

I don't see this cruise as unfair at all, what I do see is not going is unnecessarily unfair toward your daughter.

Why should she be deprived because of your bf's financial status? And yes, why should it always have to be all five of you?

Her logic is sound.

You are not married to this man, and I find it rather immature and cruel that he is so comfortable with depriving YOUR daughter of a mother - daughter cruise, just because HE can't afford to take HIS sons.

Also the emotional blackmail (I'm making sacrifices for us blah blah blah) that's manipulative, controlling and immature.

I'm sorry but I would not let anyone dictate to me how I should spend my time or my money, especially not if it has to do with my child.

If my bf tried that I would tell him to go fly a kite. (but he's a sweetheart, and wouldn't dream of trying to control time with my daughter)....

Idk, seems like you know the truth, you know you're not being selfish or unreasonable, but you also seem willing to bend to his will and accept his perspective over your own, to keep the peace.

I can't tell you what to do, just sharing what I would, were I ever in your shoes.