hi 1sassyturner. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you are so upset. Have you considered talking to a psychiatrist or therapist about what is upsetting you so much?

If you have continuing suicidal thoughts, please consider forming a safety plan. There are ways to cope with these kinds of stress, like self care and having a safety plan in case you find yourself in a crisis of confidence. Here is more on a safety plan that includes numbers for crisis lines that serve your area. http://psychcentral.com/search/?Matc...y+plan&x=0&y=0

Here are crisis lines that can help you through crisis. http://psychcentral.com/lib/common-h...phone-numbers/

Many people here at PC who have gone beyond the immediate crisis, find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 approved posts or comments on others posts). Depression chat meets on Thursday night at 9pm EST. This is a great way to meet people just as much as the forums. These are not a substitute for crisis support but can play an active role in the path to recovery.

You can also be an active member in other ways like supporting others in their questions, reading articles and posts http://forums.psychcentral.com/

This may be of interest. https://psychcentral.com/lib/advice-...ic-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/lifesty...th-depression/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/dealing...ression/?all=1

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.