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Originally Posted by Ohxpoorxme
I'm not sure how to describe it but I just feel like a diagnosis would help.. gosh I don't know how to explain it. Like it would help me describe or identify my feelings? Like in counseling I couldn't find a word to describe how I felt and my counselor kinda rattled off a few words and the first was abandonment. And immediately I got emotional because she was so spot on but that word had never come to mind
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Psychoeducating yourself is the first step if you are serious about your recovery. A lot of self help book are available to read so you can gain the right tools and use them in describing your inner experience.
A lot of us who were raised by neglectful abusive parents likely to develop CPTSD. You can function ok in life in general without even being aware of internal trauma. At age 30 or later we give up and seek therapy because we feel there is something wrong with us and we can't cope anymore.
CPTSD is just a label for a set of symptoms that are chronic, such as vicious inner critic, emotional flashbacks, toxic shame, self-abandonment and social anxiety. Its also hard for therapists to pin point if you actually have CPTSD. They might misdiagnose you with depression for example, and try to CBT therapize you but without any results. It definitely depends on the severity of your symptoms.
If you are interested in learning more about CPTSD, Pete Walker's book is a definite recommendation that you might want check out.