Hello Peacock: Honestly, I don't know anything about this. But what strikes me is that this doesn't really have to do with religion. It has to do with mental health... OCD presumably? (I'm not knowledgeable with regard to mental health diagnoses.) California therapist Kati Morton has a video on her YouTube channel where she talks about "Pure O" which, at least to my uneducated brain, sounds similar to what you're experiencing. Here's a link to that video:



Anyway... what occurs to me here is that this is really a mental health issue, not one of religion. If you weren't obsessing about religion & going to hell, there'd be something else you'd be obsessing about. So at least from my perspective, what you're experiencing needs to be addressed from a mental health perspective. And, at least in the short term, if you can't find a therapist who can successfully treat you the "fallback" position may be medication, if you're not already on something.

And then beyond that yes perhaps one solution is to simply dive head first, so to speak, into some Christian denomination. I would suspect that if one were to look back through the history of Christianity, one would find many examples of people who became committed members of their respective denominations as a result of having the kind of experiences you have. Nowadays, in our secular society, we generally discount such things. But there was a time when individuals with this kind of commitment to religion would have been viewed as having been touched by God. There is a book I read, many years ago, titled: Mysticism by Evelyn Underhill. I think many of the historical figures discussed in that book would have fallen into this category. However you decide to proceed, I wish you the best.