Another thing--one of your goals could be 'to build up trust with you (T) in order to process some difficult childhood issues.'

Many therapists are from the school of thought that 'follows the client's lead'--meaning they don't push because they're waiting for you to be ready yourself to bring it up. Ask him what his views and philosophy are regarding 'pushing' clients. You seem to think he doesn't want to push, doesn't know how, is at a loss--but you really DON'T know until you check it out with him.

Ask him a hypothetical question. "T, how would you go about therapy with a client who is reluctant to disclose some painful childhood issues?'

I'd encourage you to be as honest with him as you can. Not honest about your deepest wound right off the bat. But be honest about "I'm not sure I trust what you're going to think of me if I tell you something really awful.' You can discuss those feelings--that's why he's there.

And friend, stuff that happened in our childhoods is NOT our fault, most likely. Unless you murdered someone out of the clear blue, most likely, adults took advantage of their status and power to manipulate or abuse a helpless child. Most often, it is NOT the child's fault. If it is not your fault, then what could your therapist possibly think badly towards you about? Perhaps you're being too hard on yourself, and are transferring that to your therapist and assuming he's going to be that hard on you. Just a thought, since I don't know the circumstances. . .