[QUOTE=Open Eyes;5604481 So, it's important to look around and "notice" the effort and make it a point to compliment and how you appreciate their effort. As soon as you come into another person's world look around to see what you can point out that is nice about that other person's world, their house color, their clean yard, even their car looks nice if you happen to know they are a semi car buff. [/QUOTE]

Well you are assuming a lot... that (1) I don't do this and (2) that there is any call for it at all. As it happens I brought them a $75 dollar gift certificate for easter and a gift for my nephew. I didn't not ask her to do anything and frankly... we were supposed to go out to eat but that changed at the last moment. That was her call and as usual, no one consulted me. As I noted in my post I make efforts to buddy up to her but we don't have a ton of common.

It is my brother who invites me and, usually we end up talking together. Now I admit my brother can be a tool but she married him. I feel like it is HER who should be on her best behavior. I am the guest and even if she doesn't like what we talk about... if she wants to change the subject there are easier ways of doing that than getting upset and shutting our conversation down.

As I mentioned before, my objection is people getting upset about things that upset them when logically I would have no way of knowing that would upset them. It isn't like I walk in there and start talking about abortion. If she talks about something that upsets me.. I just deal and shove it on down.

And again, you are assuming I want to be invited anyplace... I do not. But when you are invited someplace with family you do need to go. Usually my tool of a brother gives me 10 minutes notice.

I do think the frustration is on her end. I do think my brother is a tool and has set her up in the "slave" position of being the bread winner while he sits home sleeping all day. But that is on her. One reason I don't ever do things with her is that I wouldn't be able to refrain from talking about my brother in a negative light.