Quote:
Originally Posted by Duckling000
Thanks so much everyone. I emailed him saying I wanted to take a break and that I didn't trust myself not to lose my temper.
He replied saying he understands that I'm very angry, and that it's really important to keep seeing each other, it's the most important work we've done so far...
Elio and Yellowbuggy, I'm tempted to think, like you, that maybe I should just use the next session to get in touch with the anger and not feel guilty like I normally would.
But all your responses make me feel very validated in feeling angry - thank you so much.
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"It's the most important work we've done so far..." Now that is c-r-a-p. Only one of you needs to do some work, and it isn't you.
If he is really sorry, and if he genuinely realizes his mistake, the email should be about that. I agree with rr: there's every sign he's aiming to turn this into a learning experience for you instead of himself. And that's gaslighting.
Like you, OP, I have been through a sexual assault, and although I fought, I lost. If anyone, therapist or otherwise, were to attempt to tell me that I should have said no more forcefully or fought harder, they would be gone from my life. I understand the desire to express anger at him, but after that I would cut him dead.