I think "you should have said no more forcefully" is blame. Pure and simple. Especially given that the op was pinned down. Which means the therapist's reasoning - more agency! - is completely absent of any factual basis.

We're not talking about adult assaults on children - does anyone not an abuser defend those? - we're talking about an attack on a presumably adult female. And that is where the bias against victims/survivors really comes in socially. I think the op is justified in her anger; I would leave the therapist if I were her, but that is her choice.