Dear Singer,
You can always talk to us here. The responses you've gotten show me again how much people care and are willing to listen and try to help. That is a wonderful thing.
I have to disagree with you about the "head in the sand" thinking, around taking meds. There is definitely medical proof that medications not only help us do better, but they can actually, physically repair the areas of our brains that suffer from damage because of depresssion.
Getting older is no picnic, I'm with you there. I've been through an awful lot of changes in the last few years...and I can agree, it's not for sissies, this aging thing. But I want to remind you, your worth is far more than you can ever imagine, even on your best day. So you have to trust that you are worth every effort to remain with us.
It takes courage to reach out for help.
You've taken the first step. Please, keep talking to us.
With sincerest good wishes, and massive hugs, MG