Both my parents used meth when I was growing up without getting too into it, it was very unstable. Both my parents were sleeping with the same prostitute that they hung out with as friends often. But I do have a history of self harm. I don't do it anymore but I definitely put myself in unsafe and self destructive situations. And I'm extremely codependent and avoid conflict. And I don't think I've ever actually been in an"healthy" relationship. I knew I was being cheated on by my ex and even after he gave me an STD I couldn't leave him, until I met my now soon to be ex husband. I am so afraid of being alone (abandoned) that now since my soon to be ex husband has started giving me the silent treatment and ignoring me I've resorted to hooking up with some random guy I meet at a bar atleast once a week. Which is so unlike me. I've got the absolute worst self esteem. All my friends say I'm crazy and I get alot of attention from guys, but I just don't see what they see. I'm only 25 and was married for 5 years (no kids). While I was married I calmed down alot, but did still abuse drugs and hide it from my husband. But since I've been separated I've gone back to my old extremely self destructive ways. So I feel like I'm extremely codependent, but it's not considered an actual diagnosis