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Why do I keep having to have these up and down moods?????

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> perhaps you are torn between loving your mom-- and loving your family at the same time? can be confusing and stressful under your circmustances.

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yet I love Christmas....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Oh, I hope you can find a balance in this all so you can continue to feel as you have about this holiday, I admire and dream of feeling as such.
an upsetting and depressing time for me. ... as my memories remind me that I'm nothing and should feel guilty to receive a thing.......

I agree with Depressedme-- you are not a hypocrite... it's very hard to follow advice--no matter where it comes from.

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Anyone fancy a lodger for a year????

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> sure!-- how do you feel about the American desert?

jinny

mandy