Hello notloc: Hey I'm sorry no one has replied to your post until now. Please forgive us. We're generally better than this. Since this is your first post here on PC... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

I'm not sure what I can tell you about your situation.. I'm an older person now. But in some odd ways my growing up experiences were similar to what you describe. I won't go into detail here. It's a very long story.

Honestly, I can't say if your molestation experience contributed to you becoming gay. My instinct would be to say no... peoples' sexual orientation is set in the womb. But I don't know that for a fact. I also would not be inclined to label what you've been doing as Munchausen's. But I'm not a mental health professional. So I can't say that with any authority.

As far as getting out of the situation you're in, I can only say that when I went to college I went to a college about a half hour's drive from my parents' home & I lived at home with them for the first couple of years. But then I finally moved on campus into a dormitory. That was the beginning of my emancipation. I think the thing you just have to keep reminding yourself of is that... as the saying goes... "it gets better".

There's a very fun, but quite bawdy, video on YouTube by Rebecca Drysdale with this title. (I won't provide a link to it because it is pretty crude & might be offensive to some. But, if you're interested, I'm sure you can find it. If not, & you want to see it, personal message me & I'll send you the link.)

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!