confused, I have a friend who has been married to a guy for just a couple of years. He is very angry at her because of the problems her ex-husband causes (always litigating and costing them more money, hassling about custody issues of her kids, etc.) and about her not being strong enough, in his eyes, to stand up to her ex and about how he had to move to her town to marry her and take a new job in the town, etc. He blames all of this on her and can't forgive her and is continually angry. They went to therapy together for a while and now he is trying to heal while she is being patient and giving him space and hoping he will one day be able to forgive her and love her again. Meanwhile she is mom to her kids, works fulltime, and growing impatient. She wants to resume life as husband and wife but the longer the situtation goes on, the more her love dies. She doesn't know if she can last as long as it will take him to heal and forgive her, and there is no guarantee he ever will. It's been going on a long time. She's thinking of waiting another 6 months and if he hasn't made any progress, she will start divorce proceedings. She feels like she can't wait forever and she doesn't know how to help him. He won't go to therapy on his own but just hopes to work through it in his own mind. I think she would feel better if he was going to therapy and working with a professional on his healing, but that is not his style.

I have started the healing process with my therapist. And it has helped lead to the demise of my marriage. Yay! Part of my healing is to leave an abusive situation and get divorced.

There is no time limit to healing.