Gypsy, you sound like a nice person doing your best in a very tough situation. What I have to say isn't going to be good news, but after some time digesting it, it might help you to move along. You're young and still have time to carve out a future.

You are not really "in a relationship." You are a single woman raising a child alone. Your child's father shows up once in a rare while (like maybe a dozen times a year) and that's really no more than him being a very casual boyfriend to you. In fact, he's not even that. He's relieved as all heck that you haven't pressed him for child support. He's putting on this little charade of showing up now and then acting nice, hoping you'll just keep doing what you're doing. This is not a family. You don't really have a boyfriend, or a relationship. You have a child and a baby-daddy who never signed on for any of this . . . and has no desire to. He has no desire to be husband to you, or father to this kid. That's a delusion you've created for yourself because you needed to. I'm so sorry, but it's time to let go of it.

I'm sorry for how this sounds. He may or may not be mature, but you are the one who has to face reality. 2 years and you're still living apart due to "financials" . . . and he comes around once a month? Where's he getting sex in between his visits to you? He's not in love with you. He doesn't love your child. Those are hard things to face. But you have way more of a chance to have real love in your life, if you let go of the fantasy you've created.

Find out what you have to do to legally go after this young man for child support. He'll be mad, when you do, and he'll say you are destroying the bond you had with him. But there was no bond, except him cheering you on, while you got nothing from him.

Maybe he wasn't even in love when you got pregnant. It sounds like you made a lot of assumptions. But the child is here, and I hope you take joy in this child. You will be this child's world.

Let the long arm of the law help you get the financial support your child has a right to from this guy. Then go on and make a life for yourself and your little one. This guy won't ever be moving in. Do you have family to help you a bit? When you accept some realities, and grieve your loss, you can move on. Look for someone to love and be loved by. You have as good a chance to find the real thing as anyone else.