I'm feeling worse every day lately, but on the outside I still appear to be keeping myself together. I'm doing fine at work, school, and see friends often. I don't think anyone even knows I'm depressed besides my husband and my T. I desperately want to tell my T how I'm feeling so I don't feel so alone with it, but I'm afraid if I share it all he might hospitalize me, which I definitely do not want. I'm scared of what could happen if I do tell him and what could happen if I don't.

I have a session in a few days but even hanging on til then seems impossible, though I know I will. I'm sorry if that was too triggering to put even in the trigger warning, I just needed to get this out somewhere because I don't know if I have the strength to tell my T yet.