I am struggling with something similar and apparently it is a big deal. This is what I am told anyway but, like you, I struggle with that concept. My T asked me how I would feel if someone did that to my daughter.... that really hit home with me and, while I still have a hard time seeing it as abuse, I get that this is something that should never happen to anyone so maybe it is a big deal..... He also insists that someone else will always "have it worse" but that doesn't lessen the impact of your experience.