I had a diagnosis of Bipolar I with several mixed episodes for 8 years, my personality disorder(BPD) has been ruled out to be PTSD (I always knew I had PTSD Not BPD I have flashbacks and nightmares a lot) Now since I've been medicated for two years my diagnosis has changed to something very odd on top of my anxiety disorders (PTSD and GAD), I have two mood disorders that rarely ever occur together unipolar and bipolar depression and bipolar mania (Bipolar NOS and Dysthymic Disorder). Now my mania used to be very bad while younger therefore the BDI diagnosis, I've calmed down a little bit I'm almost hitting my 30's. Now I know I am manic and depressed a lot at the same time but I don't consider myself bipolar anymore more like semi-bipolar I consider the subthreshold diagnosis to be kind of like bronchitis compared to COPD. I feel like if I wasn't on my meds I'd regress back to a BPI diagnosis, I always live in fear that my bipolar will get worse and I will screw up my life again like I did as a kid (18-25). Now the hardest thing to deal with is the depression I'm going to be talking to my doctor about this, this depression is crippling I've never been this depressed add my mania to this and I'm sick to my stomach angry nervous irritable I can't be around people not to mention my anxiety. Now I know there is such thing double depression with severe depression and the chronic depression I already have, but how can I try to cope with chronic depression with bipolar symptoms?! I feel like I've fallen into concrete it's so hard to move around and get anything done. On top of that my mind feels like a fly darting off the walls. I cry a lot this is very painful and I've gone through so many medications God knows when they will finally come out with one that will help me. How do I deal with such a bizarre and rare diagnosis of mood disorders? Have any of you been diagnosed with two very different forms of depression at once? Any advice is highly appreciated.
Thankyou