Boogie you are not a waste, you are a good guy dealing with an illness.
This might sound funny but I think you should get into fishing.
It is fairly inexpensive, gets you out to enjoy the weather and the sun,
and truly get into your heart to the point where knowing you are going fishing
is enough to bring you out of feeling down. Almost everyone likes fishing once
they give it a try. For lots of people including myself it is a very deep and fulfilling
experience. The more you learn the more you fall in love with it.
If you ever want to give it a try I will gladly take you.
If it wasn't for the absolute joy that I get from fishing I don't know what I would do.
Think about it my friend.