I hate this loop. I go from feeling hopeful to a stabbing depression and I think what a waste my life's been. What waste of going to college, what a waste of time. Summers coming and I've been saying this is it going to lose weight and enjoy summer. Go to the beach, make new friends, do stuff I haven't done before, but no. I'm no where close to want I want to look like. I'm such a failure. And I'm sorry you all have to hear it.