For me the diagnosis came this last year. They say it came out because of my PTSD and TBI, that MAYBE if I did not have those things my Bipolar would not have came to light. They also said this about my severe depression and anxiety. And all in all if I did not join the military I would me "normal".

It took me a few months to come to terms with this diagnosis. I think I still am. Because of this diagnosis along with others, I do feel I get looked at differently, well I know I do, especially in the military. I have been put on the Behavioral Health profile because I am to "unpredictable".

One moment I am okay with it and saying it's okay it is who am and the next I am questioning why me? I know I have Bipolar but I will not let it define me anymore. It has defined me long enough. I have been struggling with my moods long enough and the questionable diagnosis has been in the air long enough.

At this point it is time to control it and define it rather then let it continue to control us. We are not our illness.

I cried when the diagnosis first got on paper and I first began the trial of medications. I called my units embedded clinician. I then crawled in bed when I got home and cried. I then ignored the diagnosis. I finally started telling people about a month and a half later after I met with my counselor and my unit. I am now very open with it even though I am still unstable with it.