Aside from in home childcare, I haven't been employed while symptomatic. I have had a cleaning job at my church (my mega church...it's huge) since early Feb. I have almost three weeks of vacation time. Well, I am feeling over the top. My anxiety and agitation are through the roof and my husband keeps telling me I'm acting strangely. I am very hypo manic if not already manic. I feel like I can't work. However, I love my job and don't want to lose it. My husband says I should go in and that I'll be fine when I get there. I am torn between this mentality and thinking that I will act like a lunatic. What if I get worse? By the same token, what if it takes me months to come down? Will I call in until I'm stable? I will certainly lose my job and I haven't been there for nearly enough time for fmla. What do I do tomorrow? Do I stay or do I go? Thank you for your suggestions.
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Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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