Hi Perna. We have talked about marriage counselling for a few years now, but we really have no support system here (our families are both 2000 miles away), and thus no one to watch the kids. I did however suggest online counselling, met with a luke warm response. I think for him, it's just always been easier to make me the scapegoat so he doesn't have to look closely at his own behaviors and reasons for his actions. I really don't know if marriage counselling would help at this point however, I think he needs to deal with his issues before I would even consider it.
He is begging me to stay, but I think it's finally time for "tough love". If I don't go, the cycle will just continue, with me being the fixer, and him relying on my strength. He's called a counsellor, and says he needs to fix his issues, but says he can't do it without me. I told him this time he has to, he has to find his own strength. He seems so afraid, I just know there is so much pain at his core, but I can't keep being his "whipping boy".