So..don't really know where to start here.

I'm almost 30, I've dealt with feelings of depression since my early teens, off and on. Not usually too bad but it has gotten to the point of suicidal thoughts and even one attempt a few years ago, and the thoughts are starting to creep their way back in.

I don't have many friends to speak of as I'm not overly outgoing, so my social life is pretty stagnant.

I wouldn't say that I suffer from any extreme self esteem issues, I consider myself fairly intelligent, funny, decent looking etc. but I would say I have a hard time connecting with people

My main issue right now is just an extreme lack of motivation. I know that there's more I could be doing with my life, and I know how to achieve it, I know what I could be doing, or should be doing but I just...don't.

Most times I come home from work and instead of looking into schooling or advancing my life I just watch tv or play video games (which I play way too much, I may have an addiction.)

The thing is I want to be successful, financially, socially, and in my relationships, but when it comes time to do something about it I just get lazy. I will have short bursts of motivation, and then nothing.

I guess I'm just wondering is this a side effect of long term depression, is it just laziness? Is there any helping it?

Some other things to know that might give some insight: My parents got divorced when I was young, 10 or so, and my brother is serving which happened about 5 years ago.